If you were Gay!
by Abandonedsrry
Summary: Lee decides to sing Neji a song about been gay. Neji doesn't seem to appreciate this. NejiLee Humour.


---

_I just found this too entertaining to pass up XD Thanks for Vili for the idea! _

_Enjoy!_

---

**If you were Gay!**

It was another one of those horribly unpleasant days for Neji as he sighed, picking up a ragged old looking book and flipping to the third page, perhaps looking for a way to relax after Gai had offered him a purple spandex for the third time that day "Aah, an afternoon alone with My favorite book, 'Broadway Musicals of the 1940s.'" He sighed a little over dramatically and flipped a page. "No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?

"Oh, hi Neji!" Lee suddenly burst through the door, hands up in the air and weights making slamming noises against the floor. Neji's knuckles began to whiten as he gripped on to his book and bit his tongue, eye twitching.

"Hi Lee..." He forced out, calmly placing his book on the desk.

Lee grinned. "Hey Neji, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me!" Lee jumped over to the desk, looking excited about the news.

"That's very interesting." Neji said slowly, wondering why in gods name Lee had decided to disturb his relaxation just to tell him something as useless as that.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me." Neji twitched at this and picked up his book. "I think he might've thought I was gay!"

"Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?" Neji asked, flipping through a few pages. "Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?" He offered in hopes of changing the subject.

Instead of answering, Lee pouted and perched himself beside Neji's chair. "Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Neji..."

Neji growled softly, closing his eyes and shutting his book. "I'm NOT getting defensive!" He defended. "What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Neji. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."

Neji twitched.

"I don't want to talk about it, Lee! This conversation is over!!!" He grumbled, voice slowly starting to rise.

Lee looked as if he was going to hush for a moment, but unfortunately for Neji he was just not that lucky.

"Yeah, but..."

"OVER!!!"

"Well, okay," Lee jumped from the desk and span Neji's seat so he was staring back at the annoyed Ninja, then cleared his throat and let a grin fall on to his face.

"But just so you know —IF YOU WERE GAY, THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY!" He started to sing.

Neji looked flabbergasted as Lee continued. "BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME,

I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY!" Then he added in a softer voice. "But I'm not gay."

"Lee, please! I am trying to read..." He almost got his book, but Lee jumped up and pushed it from the desk. "What?!"

And once again, Lee continued: "IF YOU WERE QUEER—"

"Ah, Lee!" Neji tried to grab Lee when he jumped on to the table, making it creak with discomfort at the weight. Lee placed his hands on his hips, opening his mouth to sing again.

"I'D STILL BE HERE!"

"Lee, I'm trying to read this book." Neji remarked, trying to grab his book from the ground.

"YEAR AFTER YEAR!"

"Lee!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME!"

"Argh!"

"AND I KNOW THAT YOU—" Neji cut him off, glaring intently.

"What?" He demanded.

"WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO!"

"I would?"

"IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, "HEY! GUESS WHAT," Lee lent down, hands still on his hips. "'I'M GAY!' But I'm not gay, I'M HAPPY! JUST BEING WITH YOU!"

Neji gritted his teeth, starting to recite a line from his book. "High Button Shoes, Pal Joey..."

"SO WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU," Lee jumped from the table, raising his arms and yelling out loud enough for the whole of Konoha to hear: "DO IN BED WITH GUYS?"

Neji frowned, forcing a expression of distaste on to his face. "Lee, that's GROSS!" He shot back, annoyed at the accusation.

"No it's not!" Lee countered. "IF YOU WERE GAY, I'D SHOUT HOORAY!"

Neji covered his ears, scrunching his eyes closed in attempt to block out Lee's horribly off key singing. "I am not listening!"

"AND HERE I'D STAY,"

"La la la la la!"

"BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY!" He started to spin the chair, much to Neji's surprise.

"Aaaah!"

"YOU CAN COUNT ON ME TO ALWAYS BE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY," Lee stopped the chair, watching as Neji wobbled slightly on the leathery material. "AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOU'RE GAY!"

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" Neji yelled furiously.

Lee simply lent close, smiling and said softly. "If you WERE gay."

"Argh!" Neji jumped at Lee, pushing him it to the ground as his song finally, FINALLY, ended. "Guess what?"

"What?" Lee smiled innocently.

"I AM gay."


End file.
